Power of Confidence - Part 1
Self-confidence is an essential part of your well-being, success and happiness. But I suppose you already know that, right? The fact is when you’re not confident, you don't reach your full potential. You miss a lot of great opportunities because you're worried that you won’t be able to do something.
There is a saying I heard a long time ago that resonated with me- there is success on the other side of failure.
So until you fail, you won't be able to taste true success. Its easier said than done, especially in a society where "winning", "stability" and "safe" options are conditioned into our minds from a young age. These are the behaviors often rewarded and therefore reinforced. No one talks about failing and how much it teaches you, instead failure has negative connotations attached to it. That is the very sentiment that inhibits a lot of us to explore uncharted territories and take risks. We often end up suppressing passions because they seem "unstable" with a higher chance of failure.
This is where confidence comes into play. Self-confidence makes you value your innate and instinctive judgments and more than that, gives you the courage to act on them. Here are a few confidence boosting behaviors that have helped me develop over the years. I am no where near where I want to be, but implementing some of these have sure given me a kick-start...
1. Realize that you’re not inferior
This has to do with your mindset. The first step to become confident is to remember one simple truth: you are not less than anyone else. You have to stop always convincing yourself that you are somehow lower and inferior than everyone around you. You are not meant to be miserable or less successful than other people. You deserve the same amount of respect, success and satisfaction as everyone else. You have to really believe this idea that you deserve the good things in life, and that you can actually achieve them, it’s not a dream, it’s totally attainable.
In practice : stop your negative self-talk and turn it into a more positive one that focuses on your qualities.
2. Become a skillful person
One of the main reasons why you’re not very confident is because you may think you’re not particularly good at anything. In a way, to gain confidence you have to prove to yourself that you’re good at something specific. It’s that skill that you develop that will have a long lasting impact on your confidence level, because when you learn something new and you become really great at it, you will feel really satisfied with yourself. So next time you’re having doubts about whether or not you can do something, you just have to remember what you’re good at. You have to be able to say ‘I am good at……..’. It’s your choice to decide what its going to be.
In practice : pick up a skill and become really good at it.
3. Don’t let others define what you’re capable of
What you can or cannot do is only up to you, and no one else. Don’t make the mistake of letting others decide what’s possible for you. You’ll hear a lot of people saying things like ‘you can’t do it’, ‘It’s impossible’ or something along these lines. You have to believe that you can do whatever you want despite people telling you that you can’t. You are the one who takes that decision, so don’t give that power to anyone else
In practice : don’t give too much attention to what other think you can do. They are often wrong.
4. Don’t over-analyze what people say about you
One of the biggest mistakes you can make is over-thinking something bad that someone said about you. Doing so will lead you to feel really insecure and that will destroy your self-belief, which will make you feel helpless and miserable. Let’s face it, people are never happy, and the fact is that you can’t make them all happy with who you are. So what? The advice that you should learn here is that whatever someone says about you, take it as a simple comment, not as the truth. It may be hard at first, but you have to force yourself not to over-think it, because that will lead you to an endless cycle of self-destruction.
In practice : don’t overvalue what others have to say
5. Use body language to convey confidence
As you probably know already, body language is our nonverbal communication tool. When used correctly, it can be powerful to give the impression we want to other people but most importantly to ourselves, because the position of your body can change the way your mind feels. For example, standing straight with your hands on your hips will make you feel more confident, slouching will make you feel like you’re worthless….etc.
Here are the main body language gestures that you can use to be more confident:
Standing tall with hands on hips
Hands behind the back
Looking up and ahead instead of down at your/ others feet
Make eye contact with people you are communicating with
Walk with a straight back, don’t slouch
In practice : Use these body language gestures to trick your mind into believing you’re feeling confident even if you are'm’t in that moment.
6. Fake it , act like you’re confident
I think this is the most useful tip of them all, I guess you probably heard this one before, but it actually works. The trick is if you’re not very confident at first, you just have to act like someone who’s confident and sure of themselves. When doing it for a couple of months, you’ll start to notice that it will slowly become a part of you, and eventually, you’ll be fully confident in yourself.. Always ask yourself, what would a confident person do? and act on it.
In practice : act like a confident person would
Having a creative outlet has played a huge part in my self-confidence journey. Its let me express myself and play out different parts of my personality. So find your passions and use it as a tool to build self-confidence. Because YOU, should be your biggest fan! :)
Love and Light,